You Can't Get There From Here

Google Maps and the hills of Pittsburgh need to work a little harder to express Pittsburgh three dimensionally. Wednesday afternoon I planned to take the greyhound home to Cleveland. Before I left, David (CBH) reminded me that the greyhound station moved to Second Ave. He told me how he had to hop fences and go through the ghetto. I decided to look on the Internet and make my own directions. I looked on Google Maps to plan my attack. I figure I'll get off of the 61A at 5th and Chatham and then walk over to Forbes and then walk through the Duquesne campus.

Now, if I had a better map, or knew Pittsburgh better, I would have realized Duquesne was on top of a mountain and that I was an idiot. If you look at the map, you'll see that I planned to turn left onto S. 10th St. from Chatham Sq. That would have worked if Pittsburgh was two dimensional. Turns out, S. 10th St. is a tunnel that goes under the campus. I did not know this at the time. So what I thought was S. 10th St. was actually McAnulty St. which took me to Bluff St. Can you imagine why Bluff St. is named Bluff St.? I'll give you a hint; it's on a bluff, a cliff, a 100ft drop.

I was walking up McAnulty and ahead of me; all I saw was Blue sky and a railing. I thought that this couldn’t be good. I walk up to the fence and look out and I see the river and highways stacked below me. Off to my left and down, down, down, sure enough was the Greyhound station. I couldn't believe it. I was so close, yet so far. I considered the possibility of either rappelling, or possible hang gliding, but neither seemed like good ideas. I did remember that there was a Duquesne walkway that went over Boulevard of the Allies, but I didn't know if the stairs went all of the way down. I walked for 5 minutes and found the walkway. I could see stairs but I couldn't see past the highway.

I walk across this rickety bridge and over to the stairs. The stairs looked like they went on forever. I had to catch the bus is 25 minutes, I had no other option. So, I start down the stairs and walk for what seemed to be miles of stairs. At one point I stopped, turned around, but couldn't see the top of the stairs anymore. I finally made it to the bottom and saw a sign for the greyhound station.

I crossed the street, but the signed pointed down a long ramp and I could see that I would have to come all of the way back again. Instead, I hopped the fence and climbed down the steep, sandy, embankment to the parking lot. I walked to the front gate, but the sign read, NO PEDESRANS BEYOND THIS POINT, USE BIKE TRIAL. I thought, oh, this must be for busses only. There's probably an entrance for people around the side.

I walk along the bike trail next to the river and on my right, fenced in, is the back side of Greyhound. I could see all of the buses but no way in. I reached the end of the fence and the Greyhound lot was adjacent to another fenced in lot, i.e. a jail. I decided to make my way to the other side through bushes and weeds and on the other side, there was still no entrance. The only thing there was, was a ramp to go back up. I thought, ah hell nah! I started up the ramp. To my right was the Greyhound station and before that was a 6 foot drop. I said screw it, threw my bag down and hopped over, inside the fence. I walked around to the front and finally made it inside.

I bought my ticket in time with 15 minutes left and sat down. It was a nice building; you just can't get there from here. ROFLCOPTER, where were you then?

American Chopper Fantasy Bike

A few weeks ago this summer as I was watching my stories, err... my show, American Chopper, an add came on. This was an add for a contest that if you won, you would appear on an episode of American Chopper and they will build you, your very own custom Bike. How cool is that? I had about a little over a week to get an application in (I didn't hear when the deadline was until it came on the TV). I took a little bit of time out of work (only a little) and some time out at home to go through the application of personal information and short answer essay questions, e.g. What is your favorite bike and why?

I pretty much had that all wrapped up, but I still needed a 3 minute video in order to complete the application package. I borrowed a video camera from beej (thanks again Brian) and set it up in my room in my own makeshift studio with the American flag behind me. Unfortunately, this looked terrible. When I filmed it, I was a foot away from the camera, i.e. I was huge, and I was tired and stressed when I made it. You know in Office Space when Tom is talking with the Bob's and practically yelling at them that he is a people person? I felt kind of like that except I was saying very seriously that I was a funny person, can't you people see that I'm funny?

It just wasn't working. With only a day to spare. I took off half a day of work and had Gerrit and Catherine help make a decent video, one that had more me come through. We were lucky to have such a nice day at CMU.

First of all, the battery on Brian's camera didn't work so we had to plug it in wherever we went. This meant bringing 30 feet of multiple extension cords with us. We made due. Basically, we made stops around CFA looking towards Pitt and from the fence looking towards the UC and Forbes. I got several shots of the American flag waving in the background...oh yeah.

If you've talked to anyone who has seen the video (I haven't even see it), they'll probably tell you their favorite part was the flying baby. The sequence started with me talking on campus at the Clock and then cutting back to the house.

CONNOR: ...I feel that even in the most stressful situations, I feel like I can be the person who can always say the right thing to mediate the situation.

<cut to house with GERRIT standing next to CATHERINE who is sitting on the couch holding a baby. They are both next to a window and behind them is the entrance to the sun room>

GERRIT: Quiet the baby down, it's too loud.

CATHERINE: Quiet baby, quiet, etc.

GERRIT: Quiet that baby down, it's too loud!

<out of the sun room, CONNOR rolls in front of the door>

CONNOR: Shut it!

<GERRIT grabs the baby, panics and throws it out the window. Cut back to CONNOR at the Clock>

CONNOR: I also feel that I always seem to be in the right place at the right time.

<Cut to in front of house looking down driveway. The baby is seen flying over the camera and is caught by CONNOR, looking confused, as he walks by the house.* Cut to CATHERINE sitting on the steps crying about her baby. CONNOR walks up and hands CATHERINE her baby. Cut back to the clock.>

GERRIT: (off camera) Another thing about Connor is, he has really good time management skills.

<CONNOR in front of clock then looks at his watch.>

Scene.

*At this point, it was supposed to go back to me at the clock and I was going to say that like OCC, I like to give back to the community as well, but that didn’t make it in.


As we were throwing the baby around, my parents showed up, confused. I had to leave to go on a mini-vacation with them to see Laurel Caverns and Falling Waters. Many thanks to Gerrit with the help of beej, edited the video and then Gerrit also put together my application. I couldn’t have done this with out my friends, that’s for sure. Plus, it was a million times better. I doubt I’ll make it in, but I figure it’s worth a shot. It is my favorite show after all.

ROFLCOPTER, I don’t care, just GET IT DONE!

Describe your fantasy bike (Addendum)

(In case you're curious, this is what I put on my application to describe the kind of bike I want. I think it's a neat idea. It usues fuel cell technology.)

The vision I have for my fantasy bike really pushes the envelope as far as bike and fuel technology go. It’s something that no one has ever attempted to do, I’m sure, but would be an incredible mix of technology, design, and ingenuity. I propose building a gasoline to hydrogen to electric powered Chopper. This may sound absurd, but let me first discuss how I think this will work, and then I’ll discuss some of the benefits and rewards of designing such a bike, and then I’ll talk about what I think the over all design should try to accomplish.

Before I describe how this would work, let’s consider how a regular motorcycle engine works. Gas is first stored in a tank and then the gasoline is directed to the engine where it is compressed and burned creating power for the bike to run. You’re left with carbon monoxide which is a greenhouse gas as exhaust.

Now, instead of an engine, the fuel first goes to a reformer where it is broken down into hydrogen and carbon monoxide, but then water vapor is added creating hydrogen and carbon dioxide which is much safer than carbon monoxide. The hydrogen is extracted from this process and heads to a fuel cell. Oxygen from the air combines with the hydrogen to produce electrons that generate electricity that is then converted to mechanical power.

In the end you essentially use the same fuel, but instead of carbon monoxide as exhaust, you end up with carbon dioxide and water. Plus, this process can be up to twice as efficient as the normal process. I’m not sure how the power output compares, but this is something further to consider.

Why go to all of this trouble? If you use gas instead of hydrogen, then what’s the point, right? The point here is that using gas to create hydrogen fuel is an intermediate step that must be taken before we will ever see hydrogen fuel being as easy to access as gasoline.

Last year, president George W. Bush proposed $1.2 billion dollars towards researching a transportation system powered by hydrogen. To get to this vision, the DOE, Ford Motor Company, Daimler Chrysler, and General Motors are collaborating in an effort to create “Freedom Car”. I won’t go further into it, but basically it’s a car that will be operational on hydrogen fuel only. Also, the executive director of the THINK group, John Wallace, at Ford, is looking at replacing the internal combustion engine all together at some point in the future. I think with these big names working towards fuel cells, it would be possible to work with one of them to get the technology adapted for a motorcycle and I’m sure they would be happy to get there company publicized on American Chopper. John Wallace might be a good person to start with.

With that in mind, the purpose of this bike is to show that hydrogen fuel technology can be applied to a machine where power is generally valued more than fuel efficiency and a clean environment which will show that it can and should be applied to the automobile industry. (It’s similar to saying, your younger brother does something well, why don’t you do the same thing well or even better?) I don’t think this is something that should necessarily change the way bikes are built, but I want it to me more of an example to boost awareness for the hydrogen economy and put more pressure on government officials as well as automotive manufactures. They already are working towards this goal, but I want to make sure that they keep up their efforts and I think the general public should have a better understanding of what hydrogen fuel is all about and what it mean for their future.

I’m not going to say too much about the actual design of the bike just some general ideas. Assuming Paul Jr. would be designing it, he seems to like to take ideas from what ever source he’s using, whether it be from a person, place, or an object and use that to inspire his designs. I don’t want to step on the toes of a great Chopper designer. With that in mind, this bike represents energy efficiency, steps towards the future, and a cleaner environment. I think the bike should resemble that of a concept car you see in a car show that’s not produced, but always looks sleek and futuristic. As far as the color scheme goes, I’m thinking maybe a blue and green to represent the environment to some extent (water and trees), but I’m open to suggestions. I’m not sure how the motor will fit in exactly, so there may be a way to stylistically play with it to make the motor either stand out or have it disappear (kind of like the 3rd web bike, with negative space).

I believe this would be an excellent bike for OCC and DCI. OCC is always mentioning in their shows that they are always looking for new ways to be different and stay on top in the motor cycle world. Paul Sr. mentions more often than not that’s it’s nice to give back to the community, whether it be a game of bingo with senior citizens, or Christmas presents for under privileged children. This in a way is giving back to the environment after taking so much from it. This would be a good bike for DCI because it would bring together new technology and entertainment which is what the Discovery Channel seems to be about. I could watch the Discovery Channel all day if I didn’t have other responsibilities. In conclusion, I’d like to say that this bike may not be possible, but that’s always the case whenever you push one’s limits with design and technology. If you don’t test yourself, you’ll never know your potential of yourself and others.